All names have been changed, to respect their privacy.

I'm 49 and have now had the virus for exactly 2 years. The first 6 - 12 months were the worst and it took me 5 months to tell my closest friends. I worked out that I got it from my then situationship. I went back for one more go (a bon voyage so to speak) and BAM! Two weeks later I had an itchy burning feeling on the inside of my labia. That was all, it was really uncomfortable. I had no idea what was going on, but it got worse.

The hilarious thing is the day before the flare up I went to a nudist beach with friends. We sat in rock pools and there were these little fish nibbling on our toes and stuff. I seriously thought something had bit my vulva and I was having a reaction. I looked on Googled and herpes came up.

I went to the Drs, she assessed me, did a swab and said it looks like gential herpes. The Dr gave me a script for the antivirals and told me to take two a day. I asked what now, and what about sex? She shrugged and said "it is what it is you have to live with it". She told me to take the antivirals and sent me on my way. I was so confused how, when, why. I got a call with the results, and they confirmed that I was positive for HSV2. My world shattered, I thought my sex life was over. I went straight back to Google, which showed me information that would just further crush me, confuse me and fill me with so much shame. I thought my world was over.

I kept quiet and dealt with it on my own. I turned to Instagram for information, groups, discussions, platforms and anyone with what I now have. I heard Ellie on the Darling Shine podcast and asked to join one of her groups. I think I emailed, messaged and used every platform to get into a group. I was desperate to talk to someone who felt how I felt. What a relief when I got to share. I was heard, supported and I was not alone. Disclosing the first time was petrifying but the guy was beautiful and so understanding. It gets easier.

I'm still single (by choice) and now I think ‘you know what, fuck you, if you’re going to be judgemental that's on you not me’. I have my antivirals everyday and have had probably 4 flare ups in 2 years all due to stress. Those bloody fish hey!! Hahahaha

Thanks for doing this for the people who need it. It's so fucked the stigma around this virus and the poor treatment by Drs as well. The pictures are from the first day, when I was wondering what was wrong.

Thanks Ellie!