I spontaneously jumped on a plane over a week ago to head to New York for the final stage of my book, Flip Through My Flaps.

As the Comfortable In My Skin community knows, I have struggled over the last seven years to get diverse/of colour representation. With New York being one of the most diverse places on the planet, I knew it was the perfect city to photograph the final pages of the book.

While in New York, I've met and photographed so many incredible women, attended play parties and comedy shows, connected with the Comfortable in My Skin US community, recorded podcast episodes and FINALLY did my own vulva shoot!

Recording a new podcast episode with Cindy Gallop

I'm going to get vulnerable here - I always thought by the time the book was published, my relationship with my vulva would be completely healed. It is difficult to admit, but that is not the reality of my journey. Photographing my vulva was difficult for me. I had built up the moment so much in my head and created such fear around it that I had previously had panic attacks at the thought of the shoot. I realise the hypocrisy in this, but I want to be completely transparent with the beautiful community.

While in New York, I met up with my long-term friend Elly McGaw, who asked if I was in the book. I started to cry as I explained to her my fears about being featured in the book even after seven years of photographing hundreds of women. Elly listened to me, held space for me and supported me so much that I asked her if she would be the one to photograph me in New York. She said she would be honoured.

So, we rented a studio and she shot my vulva. I opened my heart, spread my legs and shed some tears all in service of educating the world on vulva diversity.

I did it for 14-year-old me.

I did it for every human who has ever felt they are not worthy of pleasure because of the way their vulva looks.

I did it for the next generation, so no young person ever has to go through what I did.

I did this for you.

Love Ellie xxx