One of the most frequently misunderstood areas of the body is the hymen. Despite the wealth of available information, the hymen is still closely tied to outdated concepts of “purity” or “virginity.” This association puts a lot of pressure on people—particularly women and vulva-havers—who may experience anxiety or shame if they notice changes in their hymen (or lack thereof).

The notion that a “fully intact” hymen equals virginity has been persistent across different cultures and time periods. These myths can create unnecessary guilt, confusion, and even harmful practices like “virginity testing.” So, let’s break down what the hymen actually is, talk about the variety of experiences people have, and challenge the social constructs that keep these myths alive.

In this post, we will cover:

• Explaining hymen anatomy and its normal variations.
• Discussing hymen remnants—what they are, why they appear, and why they’re nothing to worry about.
• Addressing the cultural and historical significance of tying the hymen to virginity.
• Advocating for bodily autonomy and inclusive, compassionate sexual education.

Part I: The Hymen Demystified

1. Defining the Hymen

Put simply, the hymen is a thin piece of mucosal tissue located just inside the opening of the vagina. Contrary to the common stereotype, it usually does not form a complete seal over that opening. Instead, most people have a hymen that partially covers the vaginal entrance, leaving at least one opening large enough for menstrual fluid to exit the body.

Hymens vary widely in size, thickness, and shape—some people have very elastic hymens, while others have thinner or thicker versions. It’s a unique part of human anatomy, but it isn’t a magical indicator of sexual history or a “guarantee” of virginity. In fact, some newborns are observed to have minimal or nearly invisible hymens right from birth. This is completely normal and doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong.”

2. The Possible Function of the Hymen

No one has definitively pinpointed the “purpose” of the hymen. Some theories propose it might help protect infants from infection, but there’s no consensus on a concrete physiological role. If we look at embryological development, it’s possibly just leftover tissue from the formation of the reproductive tract. Whatever the case, its role in adult sexuality and health is much less significant than many myths would lead us to believe.

3. Inclusive Language and Personal Agency

As a sexologist, I work with individuals of various gender identities and expressions—some identify as women, some as non-binary or gender-fluid, and some as trans men who still have a hymen. That’s why I prefer to use inclusive language like “women and vulva-havers.” Please know that if you have a hymen, you belong in this conversation, regardless of the label you use to identify yourself.

Part II: Different Types of Hymens

Many people are unaware that hymens come in different shapes, and this variety can influence how you experience menstrual care, sexual activity, and your own anatomy.

• Annular (Ring-Shaped) Hymen – This is often considered the most common type, with a central opening that can vary in size.
• Crescentic (Half-Moon) Hymen – The membrane extends partially over the opening in a crescent shape, providing ample space for menstrual fluid to pass.
• Septate Hymen – A band of tissue runs through the centre of the opening, dividing it into two smaller openings. This can sometimes make tampon use tricky, but it can be surgically altered if it causes discomfort.
• Cribriform (Sieve-Like) Hymen – Multiple small holes rather than one main opening. Though it looks unusual, many vulva-havers live comfortably with this type, though some find it inconvenient for period care.
• Microperforate Hymen – A single, very small opening. Menstrual blood can still flow out, but tampons or menstrual cups might be difficult to use. Minor surgical intervention may help if it causes problems.
• Imperforate Hymen – No opening exists, which prevents menstrual blood from exiting. This is rare and usually requires medical treatment once menstruation begins, as it can lead to pain and other complications.
• Parous Introitus (Post-Childbirth or Post-Stretching) – After vaginal childbirth (or any activity that significantly stretches the vagina), the hymen often develops noticeable remnants, or small flaps of tissue, around the vaginal opening.

Understanding these variations can help you appreciate that human anatomy isn’t one-size-fits-all. Recognising your own hymen type can also guide you in managing menstrual care or discussing any concerns with a healthcare professional.

Part III: Hymen Remnants – A Natural Outcome

1. What Exactly Are Hymen Remnants?

Hymen remnants are the small pieces of tissue that remain once the hymen has been stretched or torn. These remnants are often discussed in the context of childbirth—medical texts sometimes refer to them as “carunculae myrtiformes.” However, you can have remnants well before childbirth for numerous reasons. Many people notice small fleshy tabs or tags at the vaginal opening and wonder if something is wrong.

The short answer? It’s almost always completely normal. The hymen, like any other membrane or tissue, can stretch, tear, or thin out over time due to:

• Physical activities (sports, bicycle riding, horse riding, etc.)
• Self-pleasure or penetrative sex
• Use of tampons or menstrual cups
• Medical exams (e.g., pelvic exams, ultrasounds)
• Childbirth

Because the hymen’s thickness and elasticity differ from person to person, some vulva-havers end up with more visible remnants than others.

2. Hymen Remnants and Body Image

People often worry that their hymen remnants look unusual or unattractive. Remnants are just natural variations of tissue—no different from freckles or the shape of one’s ears. If you find yourself feeling uneasy about your body after childbirth or any other event, please remember that many others share your experience. You are not alone, and you are not “broken.”

Part IV: Busting the Virginity Myth

The idea that the hymen acts as a “seal” that breaks during first-time penetrative sex is one of the most pervasive myths in sexual health. This misconception has led to harmful traditions, including:

• Virginity Testing: In some cultures, a person’s hymen is examined to “prove” whether they are a virgin. Medically, this practice is invalid and unethical.
• Social Stigma: Those who do not “bleed” during first intercourse are often shamed or labelled as “impure,” even though not everyone bleeds their first time. Many don’t bleed at all—some have a more elastic hymen, or it may have been stretched during daily activities.

Virginity is not a medical condition but rather a social or personal concept. Your hymen status says nothing about your sexual history, and it certainly isn’t a reliable indicator of any single “first-time” event.

By dismantling the virginity construct and embracing evidence-based education, we can create a more inclusive, shame-free conversation around sexual health and autonomy.

Words by Sex Educator Kiki Maree who is one of Comfortable In My Skin's Recommended Providers.

References: World Health Organization, International Federation of Gynecology and Obstetrics, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, and various peer-reviewed medical journals in the field of sexual and reproductive health.