In this guest blog, Pleasure Expert Patricia Peters, one of Comfortable In My Skin’s Recommended Providers, shares the tips and tricks to starting your pleasure journey.

Pleasure toys can be a fantastic way to explore your body, enhance intimacy, and discover new sensations. If you’re new to the world of pleasure toys, it’s completely normal to feel a little unsure about where to start. With so many options available, it can feel overwhelming. These beginner-friendly tips will help make your exploration journey more enjoyable and empowering.

What Makes You Excited or Curious?

Take a moment to reflect on what feels comfortable for you and what you’d like to explore. Are you looking for solo exploration, or are you interested in using a toy with a partner? Do you want external stimulation, or are you curious about internal pleasure? What kind of sensation are you drawn to?

If you're in a relationship, open and honest communication is key to exploring pleasure together.

Choose a Body-Safe Material

Not all pleasure toys are created equal, and some contain materials that aren’t body-safe. When shopping for a new toy, look for:

• Medical-grade silicone – Soft, non-porous, and easy to clean.
• Borosilicate glass – Durable, non-porous, and great for temperature play.
• Stainless steel – Excellent for applying pressure and temperature play.
• ABS plastic – A safe, firm material often used in external toys.

Avoid toys made from jelly, PVC, rubber, or those containing phthalates, as they can be harmful to the body.

Start with a Simple, Beginner-Friendly Toy

If you’re unsure where to begin, consider starting with one of these beginner-friendly options:

• Bullet vibrators – Small, discreet, and great for external stimulation.
• Discreet toys – Pleasure jewelry or small “cute” toys can feel less intimidating.
• G-spot or internal vibrators – If you’re curious about internal pleasure, start with a toy that has a gentle curve and isn’t too long or thick.
• Silicone dildos – A great non-vibrating option for internal exploration.
• Cock rings – A fun way to explore vibrating sensations with a partner.

There’s no right or wrong choice—it’s a journey of exploration.

Use a Lubricant

Lube is your best friend when it comes to pleasure toys. It reduces friction, enhances sensation, and makes the experience more enjoyable.

• Water-based lube – Safe for all toys and easy to clean.
• Silicone-based lube – Long-lasting and great for wet environments but not recommended for use with silicone toys as it can degrade the material.
• Oil-based lube – Ideal for external play but should be avoided with latex or silicone toys.

When selecting a lubricant, check the ingredients and opt for a natural, pH-friendly option that aligns with the vulva’s flora.

Cleaning & Storing Your Toys

Keeping your toys clean is essential for both safety and longevity. Always wash them before and after use with mild soap and warm water or a specialised natural toy cleaner. Some toys can also be sterilised. For non-waterproof toys, use a soft cloth to wipe them down.

When storing your toys, keep them in a clean, dry, and dark place. A storage pouch is ideal—just make sure the toy is fully dry before putting it away.

Enjoy the Journey

There’s no rush when it comes to pleasure. Give yourself permission to go slow and experiment with different speeds, pressure levels, positions, patterns, and angles. You might also want to explore different materials, toys, temperature play, and sensation play. Ease into what feels good for you.

Exploring pleasure toys is a beautiful way to deepen self-love, body awareness, and overall pleasure. By starting with body-safe materials, a beginner-friendly toy, and an open mindset, you can create a positive and empowering experience.

Patricia Peters, also known as the Pleasurelit Queen, is a multi-award-winning, certified pleasure and toy expert with a collection of over 300+ pleasure toys and kinky tools. As a trauma-informed, certified somatic conscious tantric kink pleasure educator and coach, she educates and inspires people to embrace their most authentic pleasure selves. Work with her here.