Three years ago, I got breast implants. I remember the surgeon trying to convince me to go bigger, “everyone regrets not going bigger”.
Do I regret not going bigger? No.
I regret changing my body instead of learning to love myself.
In the last three years, I have undergone so much internal growth. I have overcome the unhealthy obsession I had with my appearance. I have learnt to love parts of my body I never thought I could.
But here these scars are, a reminder of the thing I couldn’t conquer. A reminder that I didn’t even give myself the chance.
It almost feels like grief. The kind of grief that’s associated with guilt. I robbed myself of the chance to love that part of myself. I may love and accept myself now, but the original me? She is gone, and I never got the chance to love and accept her.
I’ll never know what it’s like to be in my natural body and feel comfortable taking off my shirt. I’ll never know what it is like to leave the house with my natural breasts, without wearing a ridiculously padded bra to feel like “enough”. I’ll never know what it’s like to look in the mirror at my bare, natural self and feel content.
Think more than twice before changing yourselves to meet the expectations of society. Don’t rob yourself of the chance to grow beyond what you thought possible.
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